Month: September 2016

Mindfulness: There’s An App For That

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What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness defined by Merriam-Webster:

1: the quality or state of being mindful

2:  the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis; also :  such a state of awareness

william-blake

Ever gotten in your car, arrived somewhere, then thought, “How did I get here?”

Sat down with a bag of Milanos turned on your fav Netflix addiction, suddenly look down only to realize the bag in your lap is empty?

Found yourself, anxious, mind racing, worrying about a situation that may or may not EVER happen?

I can’t be alone here! Right?

We lose ourselves in the noise.  It seems to be the norm these days. Have you ever met anyone that is just naturally mindful? Aware?  I haven’t.  I am sure they exist, heck maybe you are one of those people.  Good for you!  For the rest of us, mindfulness takes practice.

Practice Makes Perfect?

Practice?  Practice mindfulness?

Yes, that’s right.  Practice.

As for perfection?  I really [don’t] hate to break it to you, just in case you didn’t know already… You aren’t built for perfection. None of us are! Don’t expect your meditation to be.

It can be HARD to reign in the mind.  It feels unnatural to sit quietly…DOING NOTHING {GASP}. Even when I conquer the guilt, there are days my brain just won’t cooperate.  Insisting on going 10,000 directions, the mind refuses to be leashed.  Then, other days I have focus. I leave those meditations feeling like a BOSS, feeling like I can sit in Atlanta traffic without swearing, like I can solve world hunger (I’ll let you know if any of those happen).  Ups and downs.  So while I can’t promise you will suddenly find yourself sitting underneath the Bodhi tree.  What I will promise is, the more you practice mindfulness, the easier it becomes.

I’ve been finding more time for me. And guess what? The more time I spend in meditation, the more I find mindfulness in my every day life. I’m becoming more and more aware of my NOW.  Of this very moment. Of the breath giving life to my body.  Of the sounds and smells around me. Of my thoughts and emotions.

Mindfulness brings awareness to who you TRULY are.  

Who you were MEANT to be!

Where Do I Start?

Maybe you know all about meditation.  Maybe you know NOTHING.  Either way, mindfulness is achievable.  If you can breathe (if you can’t, I’m pretty sure you have bigger problems than how to be mindful…just sayin…) you can meditate.

The secret of meditation?? Meditating.

Just DO IT!  Start right now, wherever you are.

It’s as simple as taking a moment, closing your eyes, finding your breath and focusing on only that.  Breath in, Breath out.  That’s it.  Repeat.

Connect to that life-giving breath.  Really feel it.  Take some deep breaths.  Breathe normally.  When your mind begins to wander, gently bring it back to your breathing.

That’s it.  That’s meditation. That’s mindfulness. You did it!

It’s seriously that easy.  You don’t have to fold yourself into a pretzel, you don’t have to become a Buddhist monk.  You don’t even have to sing Om.  Nope, none of that.

And you know what I love?? Mindfulness meditation can benefit EVERYONE.  It makes my heart happy.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, your religious affiliation, your culture, your sexual orientation, your ethnicity.  None of that matters.  Meditation is for everyone, mindfulness helps us all!

I don’t know about you, but in this crazy world, I need all the help I can get.

You Said There Was An App For That!

Ok, ok so the point of all my ramblings…

If you wanna dig a little deeper into this mindfulness business, or maybe you already have a meditation practice. Doesn’t matter… Either way, I made a discovery for you!!!!!

I am SO STOKED with this new app I downloaded a few weeks ago!!!!  Yep, I am a weirdo.  Yep, I do get excited about random things.  This is one of those things.

smile-on-your-mind

Smiling Mind

On my quest to find some new guided meditations I found TONS of apps.  Lots of them say FREE!  Yay!! Right???!?!

Nope.

With most of the apps I downloaded, you got one measly meditation for free…that’s it…ONE…really!?!?!! Grrrr….Ain’t nobody got $$$ for that!!! 😉

So I was getting a little disappointed with my options…Until…

SMILING MIND 🙂

Wooohooo!!

First off let me just say, it’s completely FREE!  No in-app purchases, no pay to unlock, nope, none of that! F-R-E-E, free.

Smiling Mind is a non-profit who’s goal is bringing mindfulness to ALL! This app was designed by psychologists & educators who are on a mission to bring mindfulness meditation to the Australian NATIONAL curriculum. Yes, national (A whole country full of mindful kids?  Sounds Awesome!).

8yr

It is full of programs for everyone.  There are categories for kids, adults, classrooms, workplaces.  Whoever and wherever you are, you will find something here that fits.

There are also REMINDERS!  I love reminders.  (Even with them I tend to forget stuff…lots of stuff…) You can set the app up to remind you to meditate at certain times of day, or to remind you that you haven’t meditated in a certain time frame (1 day, 2 days, 1 week….it’s up to you).  I’ve set mine up to remind me if I’ve gone longer than 24hrs without meditating.  Although, I haven’t needed it thanks to Phoenix (he’s the youngest member of the Tribe).

 

Are We Going To Do Our Breathing Tonight?

I hear this EVERY night from my youngest, Phoenix.  We made the app part of our bedtime routine.  I love that they love to be mindful!!  It has made a difference in our bedtime routine!  After we do our short 5-10 minute guided meditation, the kids are relaxed, peaceful & ready to hit the hay!!!  Struggle-free bedtime??  Yes, please!! Sign me up!!!

Mindfulness is helping in their everyday lives as well.  They are finding ways to calm themselves, discovering emotions, making wishes,  appreciating the work their bodies do for them each day.  Spending those few minutes meditating at night brings us all more peace, and who doesn’t love peace?

So, what are you waiting for?

Check this app* out, and let me know what you think!!

*Smiling Mind also has a website.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Autumn Equinox: Welcome Fall!

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Autumn Equinox = Balance

Balance.

Small word, BIG meaning.  Since beginning my journey to a balanced life, I have found that I am not alone.  We all seek out balance in one way or another.  Why is that?

I’ll tell ya why!!

Balance brings peace.  Who doesn’t love peace?

Unfortunately, living a life of balance is not always easy.  So many things pull at us, need our attention, have to get done ASAP.

Urgency surrounds us every day.  (Is everything really that serious?)

Chaos encircles our lives.  Don’t believe me?  Turn on the news.

Our country, our WORLD, is shrouded in chaos.  A cloud of unrest hangs heavily overhead.  This cloud is caused by hate, bigotry, division, ignorance.

The cloud continues to grow daily. A heaviness that we can’t seem to shake.

Where is the balance in that?  Where is the positivity?

Life can’t be all bad, can it?

There’s got to be some good out there still.  I refuse to believe that the light will be overtaken by the darkness.

fall

Autumn Equinox.

Today marks the first day of Fall & the Autumnal Equinox:

A day where there will be equals parts light and darkness.  BALANCE. 

(This is music to my balance-seeking ears!!)!

A turning point in our year.  A signal to us that winter is coming (Go ahead, insert John Snow’s voice here, you know you wanna).

Winter is coming?  Does that mean things will get worse before they get better?

the-trees-are-about-to-show-us

In simpler times, this was a part of the year when families and friends held each other close. The harvest was almost complete.  Preparation for the winter was well underway.

Fall was, still is, a time of celebration and reflection.  A time to rejoice with friends and family.  A time of reaping what you’ve sown, literally. A time of thankfulness.

During these times, families held tight to each other because they were facing the unknown. Winter was a time of struggle, of survival, of darkness and death.  Would they survive?  This time next year would they be here to celebrate with their community? Nothing was certain.

That, my friend, never changes. Even in our modern times, uncertainty is one thing in life that we can ALL count on.  Life-changing moments are always waiting for us just around the corner.

Reflect, Celebrate, Plan.

I encourage you to take today for what it is.  A time of balance for mother nature and for ourselves.  Find your balance today.  Focus on the good things that this year has brought into your life.  Let go of the bad things that have plagued you thus far.

Autumn Equinox is a time to reflect, to celebrate, to express gratitude, to complete tasks, and to plan for the future.

Assess your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures.

What is working for you in your life?  Do more of that!

What is not working for you?  Let that shit go!

Use the power that lies in nature, to power you!!  Today’s balance gives power to our prayers for peace, to our plans for the future, to our endeavors.

Use this time of balance!! Harness this power!!

Love on those who are important to you.  Reflect on the good.  Rid yourself of the bad.  Find your peace!

Celebrate what you love today.

Shine your light, even if darkness surrounds you!

Focus on the changes you can bring into this chaotic world.  We are not powerless in this fight.

Balance is out there, waiting to be found.

Whatever you need to do, do it.  Don’t wait to share gratitude and love with others.  Don’t wait to make the changes you have been wanting to make in your life.

Find your balance, because…

…winter is coming.

may-you-find-the-balance-you-need-may-you-be-prosperous

 

 

Whata is Tabata?

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Whata is Tabata?

Well, Tabata is a super fun word to say (yep, I’m smiling like Will Ferrell in ELF).  Tabata. Tabata. Tabata.  Say it three times fast, click your heels together, and voila, YOU’VE GOT A SUPER BANGIN’ BOD!!!!!

ruby-slippers

Did it work?

No?!?!?

Maybe you should try again…

Ok, ok, Tabata doesn’t work quite like that.

How does it work?

Tabata is just one, in a list of 5.895 BILLION, workout styles.   Tabata also falls under a popular style you may have heard of before, high intensity interval training (aka- HIIT).

Tabata gets its super fun name from Dr. Izumi Tabata, a Japanese scientist.  He and a team of researchers discovered the benefits of this style of workout at the National Fitness Institute in Tokyo.

Dr. Tabata found that:

  • 4 minutes of Tabata = 60 min jog (same # of calories burned)
  • High-intensity exercise is more effective than moderate-intensity exercise at improving BOTH aerobic & anaerobic capacity.
  • The body burns calories for up to 12 HOURS after a Tabata workout

Tabata, when done right, is INTENSE*!

*If you are new to this whole working out thing, don’t let that scare you away. You can still give Tabata a go…Just LISTEN to your body. 

How to Tabata…

To perform a true Tabata workout :

  • 10 minute warm-up
    • This is IMPORTANT! Warm up those muscles.  Get those juices flowing.  Don’t skip this step!
  • 20 sec of HIGH-INTENSITY movement
    • Seriously, HIGH-INTENSITY…SWEAT IT OUT!!! You got this!
  • Follow with 10 second rest
    • It will be the shortest 10 seconds of your life!  I promise!
  • Repeat for 8 rounds
    • As long as your body can handle it, just LISTEN to your body!! (I like to say that…have you noticed?)

Yep that’s it 4 minutes.  Just 4 minutes.  These should be the most intense 4 minutes of your life.  If not, go HARDER the next time!

Can’t make the 4 minutes?!?  Don’t sweat it…ok well, you aren’t going to be able to help the sweat, but it’s ok if you need to do 4 rounds, or 2 rounds for that matter. This workout style is TOUGH!!!!

How NOT to Tabata…

Although short, this workout is not meant to be easy. If it is easy, you are doing it WRONG!

Do NOT skip your warm up (For real, just DO IT….don’t get an injury b/c you are TOO TOUGH or TOO BUSY for a warm-up!).

True Tabata does NOT work with EVERY exercise.*   (Yes, you can do ANYTHING for 20 seconds…but you gotta make sure it’s INTENSE!  Depending on your ability, it may be hard to push certain exercises to the intensity you need to get true Tabata results.)

*Unless you’re that person I talked to earlier…the beginner, or the beginner-again (like me the 101st time I went back to working out after a loooong hiatus).  For you, my friend, I have good news and bad news.  Good news!  If you haven’t been active pretty much ANY movement is gonna be intense for you!  Bad News!  If you haven’t been active pretty much ANY movement is gonna be intense for you! 😉

Now you know, so…

Get on it!!  Seriously, quick and efficient, Tabata is an awesome workout style to add to your fitness arsenal.

Not sure where to start?

To get you going here’s a list of Tabata-friendly exercises.

tabata-exercise-list Pick one and get started on some SUPA INTENSE 4 minutes!!

Need more?  Check out my infographic, 10 Tabata Tips.

 

 

 

 

Breaking Free: Escaping Religious Guilt

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religion-blindReligion.

It’s become a bad word in my book.

Religion brings barriers between cultures, countries, individuals.

Religion.  Such a small word, with so much power. Power over the masses.

After moving to a sleepy little West GA town from Michigan, a friend of mine pointed out that she was constantly being asked “what church do you go to?”  That was new to her.  She said it felt like a requirement.  Ha!  It is true that in the South people are often greeted or met with the question of where they attend Sunday service.  Welcome to the Bible Belt….

Heaven help you if you don’t have an answer to that question.  Your poor children are going to hell.  Don’t you care? Oh, the looks you will get…Bless Your Heart…

The Bible Belt.  The Deep South.  Such oppression here.  Such division. Is that what religion brings?  Oppression?  Division?

Religion makes us quick to judge.  Why do we feel that is our right?  I am speaking to myself here…I have been quick to evaluate people based on STUPID STUFF!

Why do we feel like if people have differing beliefs than we do that they are bad?  Why do we feel the need for EVERYONE to believe the exact same way?  Why are we more concerned about people’s belief systems than their actual LIVES??

Believing the Lie.

Super closed-minded.  I spent more than half of my life thinking this way.  Well, being taught to think this way.  While under the guise of humility and concern, the lesson was still, “If they don’t live the way we do, they are WRONG.”

I believe now that regardless of what religion people “profess”.  The truth about a person’s character comes through their life, their actions, their thought processes, their response to the earth and all the other people in it!  Back then though, character was just an afterthought….religion is more important than anything else…duh Kristal…remember??

I honestly can’t believe I bought into the lie for so long.  Being raised in a family where church is the most important thing in one’s life will do that to you.

Am I “Bad”?

faith

As a child I was always drawn to nature, to animals, to astrology, to the supernatural, to the moon, to any and all kinds of weirdness.  My love for these things never went away, but I was forced to suppress them. Those things were BAD.  I was taught that it was BAD to question.  It was BAD to read too much (this will confuse your mind don’t you know?).  It was BAD to have interest in anything secular* (including but not limited to: music, movies, tv, cartoons, friends, books, etc.).  I couldn’t love God and these things at the same time…nope, just not possible.

(*Definition of secular for those non-religious folks out there: denoting attitudes, activities, or other things that have no religious or spiritual basis.)

Not only was I taught to believe those things were BAD.  I was also taught that I was BAD.  Yep, that’s right, BAD.  Little ol me…who only wanted to love on animals, look at the stars, be friends with everyone.  I was BAD.

Don’t get me wrong.  My parents never set out to make me think I was bad.  They just wanted to be sure I was pointed in the “right direction”.

Instead the direction I was pointed in was guilt.

I felt bad for being me.  I must be bad.

Later on, I would be told this was a feeling of conviction over my sins.  Ha! I now know, I was just feeling bad because I thought something was wrong with me for being different. For thinking for myself. For not wanting to be a sheep.

I loved what I loved, yet I was being told those things were BAD.  So I must be BAD right?

The people I defined as “good” were the people my parents told me were “good”.  This list of people was reserved for Jesus, preachers, deacons, evangelists, Sunday school teachers, elders and deacons in the church… (you get the picture)…

My little child eyes watched carefully the choices and paths these “good” people took.  There was good and bad represented by the people on my list, I know this now.  Back then though, I had to reevaluate what I thought was “good”, if these people were the definition.

I knew I didn’t want to be like these people.  Though, as I stated before, there were good and bad represented on my list.  I knew this was not me.  Soooo….

I grew to become quite the rebellious kid.  I already knew deep down that I was BAD.  The things I loved were BAD so I must be BAD.  I didn’t totally buy into what the church was selling, so I must be BAD.  My beliefs never lined up with the Pentecostal beliefs of my parents, so I must be BAD.  I had friends who were different than me, so that stuck me in the BAD category as well.

Since I knew I was BAD already, I ran with it.  I was always in trouble at home. I was depressed and broody.  I ran away more than once.  Religiosity was always close on my heels.

Religion taught me to feel guilty about living.  You can’t watch that, you can’t listen to that, you can’t read that, you can’t talk to them, you can’t, you can’t, you can’t…. Of course, I did all those things anyway…. then felt even more BAD. Maybe I should just throw in the towel?

Living the Lie.

As time pressed forward, I began to lose some of that guilt.  Sounds good right?  Not so much. Along with that guilt, I also lost myself.  I began looking at people through the lens of religion.  I began thinking that I had it all figured out.  Those poor sinners out there, geez, they should stop being so BAD!  They should be more like the people on my list.

The small town I lived in did nothing but reinforce this mentality.  Most folks there dress the same, talk the same, pull for the same two teams.  Different = BAD.

Sure I wanted EVERYONE to come to our church.  I wanted everyone to be GOOD.  I wanted everyone to be HAPPY. I also wanted EVERYONE to CONFORM!  In order to be good, or happy for that matter, you had to conform.  That was the rule.  You had to mindlessly follow everything that your fearless leaders told you.  From the words you spoke right down to the clothes you wore.

I wasted so much of my life judging others.  Imitating people I thought were “good”. Complaining about differences.  Labeling. Being closed-minded.

My guilt, though lessened, still remained.

Wake Up Wild Woman!

sleeping-women

Underneath the religious facade, lay the real Kristal.  The wild woman, the girl that loved nature, the astrologer, the dreamer, the lover of weirdos, she was still in there.  Knowing this, led to more guilt.

It didn’t happen all at once.  I can’t even tell you when I really began to break free, but I did.  The wild woman was tired of being suppressed.  She was trying to break out of her prison.

What?!?  Leaving religion behind?!  Let me just tell you that in my family, in the Bible belt, in a world of conformists, this is FROWNED UPON. I will also tell you that change is HARD!

Overcoming thought processes that I have had my entire life takes effort.  The prison walls were high and thick…but thankfully they are coming down.  Piece by piece.

As the conforms of this religious mind-set slowly fade, I am awakened more and more.

I now find comfort in my beliefs.  I no longer feel the need to judge or label someone based on their religious affiliation.  I am freeing myself daily from the negative prison of religious, unjustified guilt that had been a fixture for so long in this brain of mine.

This continues to be a process, but I am so thankful that now:

I am free to come to my own conclusions.  I am free to research and find my own truth.  I am free to accept myself and others for who they really are.  I am free to THINK.  I am free to ACT.  I am free to LIVE.

I am breaking FREE.

Progress Not Perfection

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Success…

Amazing.  Awesome.  Fantastic.  Incredible.  Invincible.  Inspired.

These words describe what I felt like after reaching my weight loss goal and becoming a personal trainer.

My life was completely changed by fitness.  I felt younger, happier, healthier…just plain AWESOME!

Years passed…

Obsessed. Critical. Self-deprecating. Labeling. Judgmental.

These words are what I allowed myself to become.

Never Enough

For YEARS I struggled with the issues above.  Instead of focusing on my accomplishments and how awesome I was feeling, I focused on my weaknesses and my feelings of inadequacy.

In my eyes, I never measured up.  I was never fit enough.  My arms: not defined enough.  My butt: not firm enough.  My stomach: not flat enough.  I needed more muscle.  I needed a lower body-fat percentage. I needed a better tan.

Nothing was ever ENOUGH. I was never enough.

Due to my constant need for comparison, I began drowning in negative thoughts.  I compared myself to every female I saw.  Ladies at Target, chicks in magazines, fitness competitors, skinny chicks, muscly chicks, girls at my gym, ladies at the grocery, TV stars…. You get the picture.

comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy

So, I trained HARD in the gym.  Is that a bad thing?  Not necessarily, but…

Working out TOO hard or TOO often can be a bad thing.  Your body tells you when it’s had enough…mine was screaming for me to slow down, back off, REST!!  I just wouldn’t listen.  This mentality landed me a couple lovely shoulder and back injuries that haunt me to this day.  If only I had listened to my body, these injuries were entirely preventable.

My unhealthy obsession continued to grow.  I began to weigh myself… EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  If the scale had moved up…AT ALL…I would begin to panic, or feel like a failure.  Eventually, once a day was not enough.  I began to weigh myself every time I stepped into my bathroom!

I felt as if I had something to prove.  I was vocal about health and fitness. I ate healthy and made sure everyone knew.  I drank TONS of water.  I downed protein shakes. Ate loads of veggies.  Took my vitamins. Timed my meals. Planned my workouts in advance.  All the while, making plenty of time to judge others who weren’t as “dedicated” or “healthy” as I was.

Still despite all of I effort, it was never enough.  At least not in my mind.

I constantly felt like a failure.

Eating a bad meal? That one bad meal would ruin my whole day.  Eating ANYTHING not considered “healthy” made me feel an overwhelming sense of guilt.  I would berate myself.  I’d call myself names while looking disgustedly at my reflection.

My thoughts: “Ooooooo, you had a piece of chocolate cake?!?!  Throw in the towel, fat kid!”

Missing a workout?  I would worry about the weight I would put on because of that missed workout.  Missing one workout made me feel like a phony.

My thoughts: “Personal Trainer?!?  You can’t even get your own ass to the gym!  You are a joke!”

I had an ALL or NOTHING mentality.  If I failed miserably at one meal, I’d follow up with even crappier eating choices the rest of the day.  If I missed a workout, I would miss five.  Makes sense right?!?!  (Why the heck do we do this crap to ourselves??)

your-journey-toward-your-health-goals

Why???

What started out as a journey to freedom, became my own personal prison.  I was not free to live.  I had to stick to a certain diet.  A certain workout.  A certain number on the scale.  A certain persona.

At some point, I began to come to my senses.  I began to think, WHY?  Why am I so concerned about how other people view me?  Why am I so hard on my body?  Why is this no longer fun for me?  I was letting my comparison mentality rob me of who I was.  Of my goals.  My desires.

My health and fitness journey began as a way for me to better MYSELF.  Not to impress anyone else.  I go to the gym for me!  I eat well for me!

My journey is just that…MY journey.

People-pleasing used to run very deep in my DNA.  So it’s a disease that I’ve had to work hard at curing. I am slowly, but surely, cutting this mentality out of my life. Trying to measure up to someone else, trying to meet someone else’s expectations, trying to be someone you aren’t…All those things are ridiculous, and not to mention, EXHAUSTING!!!

Shaking off that mindset, feels like coming alive.  Many of us live daily under the weight and baggage of social constraint.  Why?  Why do we let society dictate our “norm”?  Have you seen the state of our society today?  WHY would we want to let THAT dictate who we are?!?!?!?

News Flash:  This isn’t high school anymore.  Time to leave the childish thought processes behind.  Time to grow up. Time to live life for YOURSELF!  Who the hell cares if you’re the cool kid?  Who cares if you are the most good-looking? Who cares if you are the strongest? Fittest? Most disciplined? Who told you that you had to be defined by a number on a scale?

So what if you don’t look/act like everyone else.  You are YOU!  You are not better than anyone, and there is NO ONE better than YOU!

just-be-you

Finding Balance

Ongoing theme of my life at the moment = “Finding Balance”.  Why do I want balance so much?  A balanced life = a happy life. Sounds easy enough right?  Ha!

In order to find balance, I had to completely change.  Not my diet.  Not my workouts.  Not my beauty routine.  Instead the thing that needed the most change was my mindset.

I began to view my life as a whole.  Fitness and nutrition are just two of the puzzle pieces that make up my life.  Just two words in the definition that is Kristal.  I am so much more.  Taking a step back, looking at the big picture, makes it much easier to see where adjustments must be made.

I want a life filled with peace and happiness.  I want a life that makes my heart smile.  I found that the negative vibes I was drowning in were coming directly from me.  My own thoughts toward myself and my body were poisoning my life.

So I threw out the scale (ok,ok…it’s still around, just not easily accessible).  And now, instead of beating my body up about not looking up to par, I thank my body.  I began to allow myself to feel comfortable in my own skin.  I accept that I am flawed.  We all are.

It’s ok.  I’m ok.  You’re ok.

The key, to overcoming this negativity, lies in knowing you are amazing.  Your body, no matter the shape or size, works miracles for you every day.  Mine has done some pretty awesome stuff:  run miles, jumped hurdles, hiked a few mountains, and given me five amazing kids.

Balanced Eating

Here’s a secret: there is no miracle diet.  No juice cleanse, no Dr. Oz concoction, no cabbage soup or lemon drink  is going to make you healthy.  You may lose a pound or two, but nine times out of ten you are gonna gain those pounds back and they will bring their friends. You’ll end up weighing MORE than you did before starving yourself in the name of “detox”.

Your body needs FOOD. Eating is a GOOD THING!  Just remember…. Find balance…

For me balance in nutrition is not about finding the perfect diet.  Instead it’s about being mindful of my choices.  I try to eat whole, healthy foods on the reg.  I stay hydrated and I still take my vitamins (just not the 52million supplements I thought I needed before).

The difference is, I also allow myself to indulge in the occasional chocolate cake, Starbucks coffee, and slice (or two) of pizza, WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY!!  I allow myself to live. (Funny, now that I allow myself to eat these things without guilt, I don’t eat them nearly as often!  Mind over matter?  Who knows…all I know is I LOVE that it is working for me!)

We are all SOOOO different.  That’s the beauty of life.  What works for me, may not work for you and that’s OK!  Find what works for you, find what balance looks like in your eating habits and roll with it!!

Perfection is a Myth

Before I wrap up this post, I want to let you in on one more secret.

Perfection doesn’t exist. 

We are all human, it is in our very nature to be flawed.

Not one person, on this Earth, is perfect. 

I have a friend who runs an awesome personal training studio in West Georgia.  His motto is, “Strive for progress, not perfection”.  I LOVE THAT!  I’ve made it one of my mantras.

strive-for-progress-not-perfection-1

Progress!!  It’s all about the progress…Keep striving for progress.

Maybe you aren’t the super fit guy/gal at your gym.  Maybe you’re not be the skinniest person in your circle of friends.  Maybe you LOVE pizza and ice cream way too much.  Maybe you’re not be at goal weight.  Maybe you aren’t society’s idea of beautiful.

Let me tell you right now…

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!*

(*Unless you are ugly on the inside, that’s an entirely different can of worms…a post for another day? Ha!)

What matters most is…YOU are YOU.  Be true to who you are.  If what you are doing is not making you happy, STOP doing it.  If the people that you are associating with don’t see your worth, find a NEW circle of support.  You are in charge of your life.  Stop letting society and negative thought patterns tell you otherwise.

Fail, Fail and Fail Again

My last tidbit of wisdom on this topic: Don’t be afraid to fail.

We all fail.  We all eat bad shit.  We all skip workouts.  We all have bad habits.  We all struggle.  It’s OK!!!

fall-down-seven-rise-up-eight

Don’t let your short-comings stop you from being who you were destined to be.

You my friend are DESTINED to be happy, healthy and balanced: Mind, Body and Soul!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never Alone

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I’m rarely alone.  He is always close.  I woke up this morning, to find him lying between my husband and I (I think that Brent is beginning to resent him).  My Depression doesn’t care about Brent’s resentment.   Secretly, I think he likes it.  He loves to separate me from everyone.  My Depression wants me all for himself.

This morning he whispers into my ear, “Stay in bed.”  “Just sleep.”  “We will spend the day together.”

tired

I get up anyway.  I head to the shower and try, with no success, to rinse him down the drain.  Don’t laugh.  Sometimes that works.  Sometimes I can calm my mind.  I can focus on my breathing.  I can drown him in my morning shower.

No such luck this time.  Together we step out of the shower and dry off.  “Let’s have a good cry”, he says. In that very moment, I catch a glimpse of us in the mirror.  I look him in the eye.  No, I will not cry.  I have no reason to cry.  “Since when do you need a reason?”, he sneers.

I realize he is right and, reluctantly, give in.  Big ugly sobs.  Tears flowing freely.  I see us in the mirror again, a terrifying sight.  I cry harder now.

I slowly walk into my closet and close the door.  In the complete darkness of my tiny, safe place I bury my head in my hands and quietly sob.

I cry for what could have been.  I cry for what was.  I cry for what never will be.  I just cry.

I sit in here for what seems like hours, in reality it has only been minutes.  Depression does that to me.  He is known to bring on the physical exhaustion of tireless work, even when my body has been sedentary.

I hear rustling in the bedroom, Brent might be waking.  Time to pull it together.

I slowly open the closet door but remain in my safe place.  With the light now on, I dress for the day.  Depression stops me before I am able to step out.  He drapes himself over me like a cloak.  Only then, does he allow me to leave the closet.

The weight of him exhausts me.  Some days are better than others.  There are days when my Depression weighs 5,000lbs.  There are days when he makes my entire body ache.

Then there are sunny days…

Days when he stays behind.  Days when I am really free to be myself.  Days when I feel hopeful.

I live for those days.  They serve as a reminder that I AM NOT MY DEPRESSION. We’ve been together for such a long time that I sometimes forget. Over the years the lines have become blurry, I cannot tell where my Depression ends and I begin.  On scary occasions, I feel as if I don’t begin at all.

afraid

False alarm, Brent is still sleeping soundly.  With my Depression shrouding me completely, we head downstairs.

Depression and I curl up together on the couch and sip our coffee.  Covered by my favorite blanket, we sit silently.  I normally find peace in silence.  But my Depression taught me that suffering lives in there too.

As I continue to sit in silence, sunlight beams in from the window and hits my, now puffy, face.   My Depression doesn’t like the sun; he doesn’t like for me to connect to Mother Earth at all.  He says it makes him shrink.  He says I don’t need her.  He reminds me of all the years we have held each other close, all the experiences we have had together.

I don’t like these reminders.  I cry again.

I am tired of crying.  Today I want to be me.  I want to live.  Really live, not just go through the motions.

I make up my mind to do this.  I begin to focus on the heat of the sunshine on my face.  I focus on the sounds of nature coming from my own backyard.  I begin to bring awareness to my breath.

Depression gets restless, “Stop this nonsense”, he demands.  He bombards my mind with: to do lists, worries, dust bunnies, regrets and random thoughts.   I allow the thoughts to come.  Then I remember, I am going to live today.  I am going to be me today.  I am in charge, not him.  I let the thoughts float by like clouds in the sky.  I breath in.  I breath out.  I begin to count my breath.  Inhale, 1.  Exhale, 2. Inhale, 3.  Exhale, 4….

I start feeling lighter.  What? Lighter?  My Depression is lifting.

I have lulled the monster to sleep.  I continue with my meditation.  I continue to count my breath.  I continue to let my thoughts come and then pass.  I am not my Depression, I am not my thoughts.  I am me.

When I know he is really sleeping, I lift off what remains stuck to me.  I gently lay him down on the couch and cover him with our favorite blanket.  I stand up slowly, scared I will wake him, and turn to face the rest of my day.

I know he will wake soon and we will be reunited.  For now, I look back at him slumbering on the couch and smile.

Today I will live.  Today I will be me…. even if just for a little while.

Shhhhh…don’t wake the monster.

rumi

 

 

Food 101: Start a Food Journal

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Food journals work!

When changing your eating habits you need stability, accountability, motivation, record of what works, etc.  Food journals give you all of that and more!

I personally use a food journal when I have a fitness/weight loss goal in mind.  When  my pants fit a little too snug, when my body feels “off” (and I’m feeling sick, or sluggish, or even depressed), when I OD on sugar…habitually… (I’m human…and I have a problem…first step is admitting right?), after one too many nights of dining out.  These are times that I reach for the trusty food journal.  My food journal hasn’t failed me yet!  (Although, I must admit I have failed my food journal…)

Q:What the heck is a food journal?

A:  Whatever you want it to be!

Do you keep a journal?  Have you ever?  Is your journal the same as it was when you were 12? Is your journal/diary the same as your siblings (come on, you know you have taken a peak at someone else’s diary…)?

Food journals are like any other kind of journal or diary = Unique to the individual using them.  They can be uber detailed, or scribbled onto a legal pad.  No matter the level of detail, a food journal is serves as a record of everything that your put in your mouth.  Scary thought? Maybe…but…

Are you a facts & figures type of person?  My husband is.  When he keeps a food journal he figures everything out…all the way down to percentages of food groups consumed each day!

Or are you like me?  You like the idea of organization but ALL those numbers are just TOO much to keep up with!

Doesn’t matter!  Either way you CAN BE SUCCESSFUL with a food journal!

Q:  What information should I include?

A.  Record of EVERY food item that crosses those beautiful lips of yours!

The most detailed food journal is USELESS, unless you are TRUTHFUL!  Be truthful with yourself.  There is a reason you are thinking about starting a food journal right?  Always remember your goals.

Do you want to lose weight?  Eat more protein?  Drink more water?  Stick to a vegan or vegetarian menu?  Do you need balance in your eating habits?

Don’t lose sight of why you are doing this.  With those goals in mind be sure that you include these facts for every entry:

  • Time of meal
  • Number of Portions
  • Food Item
  • Beverage

Those are the basics.   You can begin that simply.  You can also become more detailed, like my husband, by adding these facts to your entry:

  • Number of calories
  • Grams of proteins
  • Grams of carbohydrates
  • Grams of fat
  • Grams of sugar
  • Ounces of water

Q:  How will a food journal benefit me?

A: Three words:  Accountability, Reality Check, Motivation*

*(ok, so that was 4 words…three ideas?!? You get the point!)

Accountability:

As a personal trainer, I have seen the importance of accountability.  I know you’ve done it…we all have…

You get ready for the gym.  Suddenly the phone rings.  You get tied up on a phone call.  Well, it was a nice thought, but since my routine was interrupted by that phone call I will just skip the gym today….I will get back into the swing of things tomorrow…

If you are anything like me, tomorrow may come.  Or it may come a couple months from now.  Or it may never come.  Who cares?

Now take that same scenario and add accountability…

You get ready to meet your workout partner at the gym for your 8:30am, regularly scheduled, workout.  Suddenly the phone rings.  You explain to the person on the line that you are on your way to an appointment and you will have to return their call in an hour when you finish up…You head out the door, make it to the gym on time, hit the gym hard and leave feeling accomplished.

Accountability can make all the difference. Food journals are like workout partners.  Not only are you putting that food in your mouth, you are now responsible to write it down.  This simple act can make a huge difference in the way that we perceive food.

Reality Check:

My reality is….I eat bad shit.  Not all the time, not tons of it, but I still eat bad…on the reg.  Keeping a food journal is like someone standing beside me saying, “You really gonna eat that piece of chocolate cake?  Did you see how crappy you ate yesterday??”

“Knowing” what we have eaten, and seeing it written down in black and white are TWO totally different things!!!

There’s power in documenting your diet!  Power and control, but first there’s reality… IN YO FACE…saying THIS is what you are putting in your body.  This is the fuel that you have chosen.

Motivation:

One good choice leads to another.  If you make your workout, chances are you will eat healthier that day.  If you eat healthier, chances are you will make your workout.  When I make it to my yoga mat, I find time to meditate.  When I meditate, I find time for yoga.  Good things….good vibes…good foods…good brings more good….makes sense right?

Food journals can keep you motivated.  Along with my food journal entries I keep track of my progress.  What progress am I making towards my goal?  (Always keep those goals in sight…there is a reason you picked up your food journal) If my goal is weight loss, I record my daily weights.  If my goal is water consumption I record my intake with each entry as well as each day.  If my goal is balance, I go all in…I will then keep up with all the details and numbers that my husband utilizes on his food journal worksheet.  Use your goals to help you decide what information you will keep record of.

Questions? Comments?  I want to hear from you!  

Here’s a FREE (detailed) FOOD JOURNAL TEMPLATE for Excel:

nutrition-log