Work in Progress

Should I Blame the Moon?

I have been slammed with SUPER intense emotions.  Crashing over me like waves.  I’m fine for a minute then, BAM, another hits. Maybe it was the full moon, the lunar eclipse, or the comet that passed a few nights ago?  Maybe it’s just where I am in life?

All I know for certain is…

I am becoming aware.

creig-crippen

I realize, to some,this sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo.  But it is honestly the state of my being right now.  Everything in me is changing, evolving…

Becoming More…

I am becoming more awake.  More aware.

Aware of the things I have let defeat me.  Aware of the thoughts that have held me prisoner.  Aware of the negativity that I allowed to permeate everything around me.

I am seeing with fresh eyes the things that suck up my time.  The things that suck up my soul.

I am becoming awake.

awakening

I am awakening to the collective unconscious.  The societal voices that become our inner monologues.

I am seeing that I have allowed those voices to steal my confidence, my joy, my passion.

I am awakening to the lies that I have believed simply because generations before me accepted them as truth.  I now cringe at the “that’s the way great-great-granny did it” mentality.

I am waking up to see that it is sometimes the comfort of the lies that hold us back.  We have become afraid to rock the boat. Some of us have let our own voice grow silent, adopting instead the voice of complacency.

I see now the time wasted, never to be regained, on the belief that we need to follow societal norms. We live in fear of doing something “wrong”, messing things up.

I see the lie of perfection. The desire for perfection, in all things, cripples us.  We want perfect hair before our pictures.  We need the perfect shoes for our outfits.  We won’t be happy with our body, with our lives, until we reach our goal(s).

I no longer believe the lie that we must “climb the ladder” to succeed.   The need for titles behind our names & signs in front of our parking spaces.  Just more lies.

I pray to never again be convinced of the importance of these pretensions.

Hopeful

I am hopeful that each day I will continue to become more aware, more awake.

I hope to become a better version of me each day simply by laying down things that no longer serve me and making room for new and healthy thought patterns and life habits.

I vow to escape the deception of perfection.  In fact, I will avoid striving for perfection at all. Instead focusing on growth in every area of my life.

I will be me bravely, with intentions of failing boldly in MANY endeavors.

bravely

I have been awakened to the life force buzzing around us all.

The Most Important Thing

I have so many things to be grateful for in my life yet, this is the most important thing I have ever done. It is not easy to change your old thoughts, old habits.  It is not easy to let go of things that you identify as “yourself”, but it is so rewarding.

Striving to become more awake, more aware, has changed/is changing every aspect of my life.   I realize now, that striving to be the best version of me is so important.  It’s not selfish or self-serving.  Working on me, gives me the strength to be there for others.

This awareness has begun to overflow into every detail of my life.  Becoming a better me allows me to be a better mom, wife, friend….PERSON.

Stepping back from old thought patterns, becoming accepting of the way things are, letting in more light and love into my life…these are the things I am most grateful for today.

I am a work in progress.  I hope to always be a work in progress.

in-progress

*How much better a world would this be for our children if we ALL vowed to work on ourselves EVERY DAY?    

Sum, Total.

Sum. Total.

“You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot – it’s all there.  Everything influences each of us…” -Maya Angelou

So powerful.  The sum total.  Each of us goes through this life, soaking up, basking in, running from, running toward.  Life is so messy.  It encircles us.  Life happens to us, we happen right back.  The lies we are told, the truths we refuse to hear.  Each a tiny piece in the puzzle that is us.  The person we become is shaped by each experience.  Lives intertwine, disconnect, support, destruct.  One life reverberates off another.  The great silk thread that links us all.  The underlying consciousness, the feeling of belonging we all search for.  Life is so complicated. So complex, so diverse.  That is where the beauty lies.  Beauty in diversity.  Beauty in each day, each moment being different than the last.

More.  I Want MORE.  I Need MORE.

I have felt so emotional lately.  I want so much more.  Not stuff, not possessions.  I want to help people find their own path.  I want to offer happiness in a world full of discord.  I want to see all the beautiful creations of Mother Earth.  I want to better my yoga practice.  I want to save EVERY animal.  I want to spread smiles like peanut butter.  I want to LIVE!

This past year has been…difficult.  I have battled with dark places within myself.  I have discovered negative thought patterns that threaten to ruin me.  I have learned that NO ONE is perfect, and EVERY ONE will let you down at some point (and that’s ok, we are all human).  I have struggled to find balance in all things.  I have cried, laughed, tasted the harshness of desperation, savored moments of pure bliss.

Looking Ahead.

If I am being honest, I don’t know where life will take me from this day forward.  All I know is that I am going to be ok.  I am going to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I have battled so much in my life and ALL I know for certain is that I WILL NOT QUIT.  I WILL NOT HANG MY HEAD IN DEFEAT.  I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR A LIFE I DON’T LOVE.  I WILL FIND MORE.

Thanks Peeps!

Thank you to everyone who has touched my life this past year.  Thank you for your encouragement, thank you for your criticism, thank you for helping to shape me into who I am.  I am so blessed with so many awesome people in my life.  I hope that you all take a little time and decide what it is that makes you tick.  What is your purpose in this crazy life of ours?  Once you find it…spin WILDLY in that direction!  I hope this year we all LIVE life to the fullest….each and every moment!  Spread love!  Spread happiness! Spread laughter!! Life is too short to do anything else!

Love and light to all!!!

sumtotal

 

Boost Your Mood

I’ve been in a low recently.  Booo hissss.  Good news is, I’m climbing on up!  I’ve done some soul searching, some meditation, lots of reading…you get the picture.  My mind and soul are feeling much better, but I have still been lacking in the body department.  Since my goal is balance in all things, I’ve gotta get my butt in gear!!  Get movin’!

I made this infographic to share some much-needed motivation for myself & anyone else feeling the struggle.

Here’s to hoping this gives someone a little boost!boost