Should I Blame the Moon?
I have been slammed with SUPER intense emotions. Crashing over me like waves. I’m fine for a minute then, BAM, another hits. Maybe it was the full moon, the lunar eclipse, or the comet that passed a few nights ago? Maybe it’s just where I am in life?
All I know for certain is…
I am becoming aware.
I realize, to some,this sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo. But it is honestly the state of my being right now. Everything in me is changing, evolving…
I am becoming more awake. More aware.
Aware of the things I have let defeat me. Aware of the thoughts that have held me prisoner. Aware of the negativity that I allowed to permeate everything around me.
I am seeing with fresh eyes the things that suck up my time. The things that suck up my soul.
I am becoming awake.
I am awakening to the collective unconscious. The societal voices that become our inner monologues.
I am seeing that I have allowed those voices to steal my confidence, my joy, my passion.
I am awakening to the lies that I have believed simply because generations before me accepted them as truth. I now cringe at the “that’s the way great-great-granny did it” mentality.
I am waking up to see that it is sometimes the comfort of the lies that hold us back. We have become afraid to rock the boat. Some of us have let our own voice grow silent, adopting instead the voice of complacency.
I see now the time wasted, never to be regained, on the belief that we need to follow societal norms. We live in fear of doing something “wrong”, messing things up.
I see the lie of perfection. The desire for perfection, in all things, cripples us. We want perfect hair before our pictures. We need the perfect shoes for our outfits. We won’t be happy with our body, with our lives, until we reach our goal(s).
I no longer believe the lie that we must “climb the ladder” to succeed. The need for titles behind our names & signs in front of our parking spaces. Just more lies.
I pray to never again be convinced of the importance of these pretensions.
I am hopeful that each day I will continue to become more aware, more awake.
I hope to become a better version of me each day simply by laying down things that no longer serve me and making room for new and healthy thought patterns and life habits.
I vow to escape the deception of perfection. In fact, I will avoid striving for perfection at all. Instead focusing on growth in every area of my life.
I will be me bravely, with intentions of failing boldly in MANY endeavors.
I have been awakened to the life force buzzing around us all.
The Most Important Thing
I have so many things to be grateful for in my life yet, this is the most important thing I have ever done. It is not easy to change your old thoughts, old habits. It is not easy to let go of things that you identify as “yourself”, but it is so rewarding.
Striving to become more awake, more aware, has changed/is changing every aspect of my life. I realize now, that striving to be the best version of me is so important. It’s not selfish or self-serving. Working on me, gives me the strength to be there for others.
This awareness has begun to overflow into every detail of my life. Becoming a better me allows me to be a better mom, wife, friend….PERSON.
Stepping back from old thought patterns, becoming accepting of the way things are, letting in more light and love into my life…these are the things I am most grateful for today.
I am a work in progress. I hope to always be a work in progress.