I Will Love The Skin I’m In

April 23, 2017April 27, 20202 Comments

I will honor my body.

I will love the skin I’m in.

I will no longer compare my body to another woman’s.

The journey I have been on is my own, no one else can know the darkness I have caused my body to endure, no one else can know the light that shines through me regardless of that darkness.

I will no longer look in the mirror and cringe. I will embrace my flaws.

I will no longer be controlled by body image. We are all just star dust, in this imperfect human form.

I will be ok with where I am, no matter what the scale says. No matter what society says.

I will leave behind detrimental thinking patterns that have caused me to focus solely on my outward appearance. What a waste of time that is.

I will begin using that time to tend to matters of the soul. Striving everyday to grow, to be a better human, to love BIGGER.

I will love myself.

I will love my reflection in windows as I pass by, not because I am super model status, but because I am so much more.

I am me.

I am love, I am beauty, I am fearless.

I will not be constrained by what society calls beautiful. I will wear what I want, when I want, with no apologies.

I will no longer be a slave to the scale. That number isn’t real. What is real, is the magic that dwells inside me.

I will no longer call myself names or criticize myself. Goddess knows, there are enough critics running around, why add to that?

I am not fat, I am not saggy, I am not cellulite, or stretchmarks, or wrinkles, or gray hair.

I am amazingly me. Unique in all I think and say and do. I will revel in my uniqueness.

I will no longer guilt myself into doing things that I don’t enjoy. I will listen to my body.

There are days I want to lift heavy things, days I want to do yoga, days I want to hike, and then there are days I want to lie on the couch all day, cuddled up with a good book and some chocolate.

I give myself permission to do ALL of those things.

I will do them when I want, how I want, and without feeling a damn bit guilty about it.

It is okay for me to go to the gym, & equally okay for me NOT to go to the gym. Okay to practice yoga, while just as okay NOT to practice.

I will listen to my body and give it what it needs. Whatever that need may be, in that moment, on that day.

I am ever-changing, as is my body, there is no one size fits all life. I am realizing this now…

I will love me.

I will take long baths, naps, and walks in the sunshine.

I will fuel my body with nutrients that make me feel alive. I will have greens and vitamins and shakes.

I will also lavishly enjoy chocolate, wine and southern cooking.

I will find my own truth.

I will find my own balance.

I will no longer force my body to endure brutal workouts day in and day out in pursuit of perfect muscle definition. Because, what good is a perfect body if it is carrying a broken soul?

Instead I will move in ways that make me happy, simply to say thank you to my body for how amazing it has been to me.

I will take care of myself.

I will rest, I will meditate, I will sit in silence.

I give myself permission to howl at the moon, to dance around naked, to be unceremoniously wild.

I will love me.

Addicted To Thought

December 9, 2016April 18, 2017Leave a comment

Confession

I’ve officially been MIA from my blog. Not because I had nothing to say, simply because I couldn’t find the words nor energy to express all the things circling around in my head. While my writing ceased, my thoughts grew. That’s how it happens. I begin going inward, getting lost in my own thoughts, lost in the worry of tomorrow and pain of yesterday. It feels as if I lack the ability to get out of my own head. I become trapped there. Fighting. Fighting through depression, fighting through sickness, fighting tiredness. I become more and more unconnected. I distance myself from friends, family, even Brent. I feel alone in my pain, alone in my depression, alone in my cerebral prison.

Unfortunately, this experience is not new to me. I have become aware of this pattern in my life. The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?

Hello, my name is Kristal. I am addicted to thought.

Cerebral Prisoner

I have become controlled by my thoughts. This has led to being anxious, depressed, hopeless…I could go on.

So now what? What do you do when your prison guard is with you 100% of the time? How do you escape?

My quest begins! I am hopeful that I will be able to break this habit. I recently learned, I am not my mind. Sounds crazy, right? It’s not. That statement alone has allowed me to climb out of the dark caverns I’ve been hiding in. It has given me freedom to live. I am not my thoughts. Instead I am the keeper of thoughts, the watcher of the mind.

I am becoming more aware. More aware of my thoughts, my emotions, my reactions, my anxieties.

The Watcher

So far, this has been quite a change. It is changing the way I look at myself. I am no longer defined by my mind. I am the watcher. I like it. Just this slight change in perception has already helped to quell my anxieties. Becoming the watcher has made me feel more at peace, more even tempered, more hopeful.

I have so far to go. My mind is not the only thing that is in desperate need of change. While hibernating in the darkness I have not been kind to my mind or body. I know that. Again…I am admitting…. As I become more and more identified with the watcher I am more aware of the need for balance. Yes, balance (there’s that word again, my favorite word for quite some time now. Balance in all things is what I’m after). I must start feeding my body what it needs. I must start moving more. I must keep myself hydrated.

Begin Again

Stoked, to see what this journey is going to teach me. Happy, that instead of becoming the definition of insanity, I am breaking those patterns in my life that aren’t working for me.

This is just the beginning. I am retraining my brain. Taking charge of my mind, which gives me charge of my life. I WILL run my life, instead of life running me.

Recent Inspo

Women Who Run With the Wolves

The Power of Now

Live Your Legend

What are your thoughts? Do you identify yourself solely through your thoughts? Do you think the mind is powerful enough to control us without our even being aware of it?

Autumn Equinox: Welcome Fall!

September 22, 2016April 18, 2017Leave a comment

Autumn Equinox = Balance

Balance.

Small word, BIG meaning. Since beginning my journey to a balanced life, I have found that I am not alone. We all seek out balance in one way or another. Why is that?

I’ll tell ya why!!

Balance brings peace. Who doesn’t love peace?

Unfortunately, living a life of balance is not always easy. So many things pull at us, need our attention, have to get done ASAP.

Urgency surrounds us every day. (Is everything really that serious?)

Chaos encircles our lives. Don’t believe me? Turn on the news.

Our country, our WORLD, is shrouded in chaos. A cloud of unrest hangs heavily overhead. This cloud is caused by hate, bigotry, division, ignorance.

The cloud continues to grow daily. A heaviness that we can’t seem to shake.

Where is the balance in that? Where is the positivity?

Life can’t be all bad, can it?

There’s got to be some good out there still. I refuse to believe that the light will be overtaken by the darkness.

Autumn Equinox.

Today marks the first day of Fall & the Autumnal Equinox:

A day where there will be equals parts light and darkness. BALANCE.

(This is music to my balance-seeking ears!!)!

A turning point in our year. A signal to us that winter is coming (Go ahead, insert John Snow’s voice here, you know you wanna).

Winter is coming? Does that mean things will get worse before they get better?

In simpler times, this was a part of the year when families and friends held each other close. The harvest was almost complete. Preparation for the winter was well underway.

Fall was, still is, a time of celebration and reflection. A time to rejoice with friends and family. A time of reaping what you’ve sown, literally. A time of thankfulness.

During these times, families held tight to each other because they were facing the unknown. Winter was a time of struggle, of survival, of darkness and death. Would they survive? This time next year would they be here to celebrate with their community? Nothing was certain.

That, my friend, never changes. Even in our modern times, uncertainty is one thing in life that we can ALL count on. Life-changing moments are always waiting for us just around the corner.

Reflect, Celebrate, Plan.

I encourage you to take today for what it is. A time of balance for mother nature and for ourselves. Find your balance today. Focus on the good things that this year has brought into your life. Let go of the bad things that have plagued you thus far.

Autumn Equinox is a time to reflect, to celebrate, to express gratitude, to complete tasks, and to plan for the future.

Assess your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures.

What is working for you in your life? Do more of that!

What is not working for you? Let that shit go!

Use the power that lies in nature, to power you!! Today’s balance gives power to our prayers for peace, to our plans for the future, to our endeavors.

Use this time of balance!! Harness this power!!

Love on those who are important to you. Reflect on the good. Rid yourself of the bad. Find your peace!

Celebrate what you love today.

Shine your light, even if darkness surrounds you!

Focus on the changes you can bring into this chaotic world. We are not powerless in this fight.

Balance is out there, waiting to be found.

Whatever you need to do, do it. Don’t wait to share gratitude and love with others. Don’t wait to make the changes you have been wanting to make in your life.

Kristal McEwen

Seeking Balance in All Things.

Tag: balance

I Will Love The Skin I’m In